She was buried when I was about 5 years old. In a grave next to which most of her children now lay. In Ingotse village, Kakamega.
I have a picture of her on our altar , in our home in Detroit. It is a picture that has her, my kwaru, my baba, my mama, Sammy and Jesse. I was not yet born. I had carried what I could carry of my family when I came.
Most of my family is very far away.
My only real memory of her, Nerea, was when she and kwaru saw me licking Milo out the palm of my hands, from a can in the cupboard somewhere. We lived in Upperhill, Nairobi back then. Milo is like drinking chocolate, but has crunchier and bigger grains, that i loved to roll in my mouth as I slowly beckoned them to dissolve into me.
It must have looked delicious, because within minutes they had beckoned and I was swiftly scooping ample amounts of milo into their palms for them to lick too.
Save from the occasional live chickens sent from dala, from grandma, and possibly gunias of sweet potatoes, or peanuts, I can't remember anything else substantial about her.
But then this:
I can't stop playing it.
Firstly,
Feminists,
Sit down.
I know.
And I agree.
Complexities lacking and inadequacies abound.
And i agree,
Not all plates are full. There is entrenched poverty and systematic repression of so many classes and ethnicities among the masses.
But for a minute,
Empathise,
With all the women who never get to have a baby daddy willing to support their babies.
Empathise,
With the women who are so distraught when they find out they are pregnant, they aren't in the best psychological space to make the best decision for them/their baby/their family....
The women who never have the capacity to see the possibilities within their future children, because their heavy burdened with the material challenges associated with pregnancy and child rearing.
I have a bias against abortions.
But it happens.
I would like for women to have the opportunity then, to really have as many options layed out for them in terms of pregnancy care and child support ...before we default to abortions.
Pro choice movements don't often really engage the choices that the various women have. Sometimes, abortion is a resort, not because a woman is definitively disinterested or unwilling to carry a baby to term, but because of very unfavorable and indequate accommodations in society for the mother-woman.
A beg,
They also had me with their wonderful video, harmonies and falsettos.
They also name dropped so many of my heroes, lupita, bambam, Maathai, Mboya, Nyerere, Makeba...
You know I also just love Sauti Sol. ( Amos and Josh were a perfect addition to this jam- can you hear Amos sang!!!!)
They are the dream.
Brothers going hard after their dreams, and then pumping so much of that Afrocentricity, motherland loving....mmmh!
Nerea,
As a mother, it is wonderful to be reminded, about Ominira's unlimited possibilities for self actualization and success.
As a daughter, it is wonderful to be reminded too, that I am significant, and I am capable, of being someone of great value to my community. I can. Even when it feels like I am going nowhere. I can. I am. Wanted. Wantable. Loved. Loveable. Significant.
Isn't it wonderful, to hear your dad or your mum say, I will take care of you. I want you?
Isn't it wonderful to know you are wanted?
Mmmh.
But what of Dani then?
I don't know....
Maybe this is a mystical message from her...ay, there aren't too many Nereas out there....and that name choice was quite errr...specific..
Got me thinking of Dani though. Got me remembering that I have peoples who love on me somewhere back home, and I should not forget that.
Mother of mothers,
Did dani imagine, she would have a grandbaby like me? Growing alot apoth , alot boo, ododo and chickens in Detroit? Did she imagine that I would be galavanting majuu with a black American moran, digging earth and building village, hustling and bustling towards dreams and desires?
Thank you Sauti Sol, Amos and Josh.
erokamano Dani.
